Happy Halloween

She was the most beautiful tinkerbell I have ever seen.

Peoples Choice

They won peoples choice at the chili cookoff. It was cold out there. Enjoy the pictures!!

another friday

not much to say.. except that dog wore me out today. I worked from home and picked mr. diesel up at lunch at it went all down hill from there. But besides that -- no chief complaints on him, after all he is a puppy. The werid thing is that he already has gained 2 pounds in like a week -- I know going to be a big boy. Tomorrow is the chili cook off if Annapolis...if my legs hold out I will be there and hopefully have some good pictures. Anyway here are some pictures of the pup and the girl. Enjoy.

ahhh -- the simple things

so I rode home to day thinking about how my day and week went and frankly was rather bothered by a few events. I still can not stand these things -- people going back on their word, people attempting to make other people look stupid (talking to them like they are a child) and lazy people. But when I got home it all went away because my lovely daughter reminded me of the simple things -- how sweet it is to come home to a child and just have them kiss you and tell you how much they missed you -- all my troubles seemed rather small in the scheme of things. She is the reason I push and want to do more, she is the reason I can still smile each time I get up and go to work, because I know every night I get to see her beautiful face and hear those simple, sweet words "Mommy, I love you."

doggie doggie doggie

he was good today -- no complaints and no accidents :)
I am tired today -- RA is flaring up hard -- took two pain killers so I could get up and walk tonight. Weather related -- not sure. Could be stress or could just be time.
I have been doing alot of running around -- I need to slow it down a notch.
Hannah is in the shower -- hopefully unwinding. I need to pick out some clothes for her to wear tomorrow. I also need to eat, but not feeling that right now. Just Tired

who's the handsome boy?

well you know. He had a good night. Slept all night in his kennal and did not whine. Let's hope he does well tonight. He has no use for the rain today -- he ran out this morning and ran right back in and peed on the floor. He tried.
Onyx did not have a problem with him -- Zoe still is Zoe -- Prissy.

Hannah is overwhelmed and Mike is rather happy. He took little man to work today to start the kennal training.

Let's hope he's tired.

He is a cutie....and a fatty

more DIESEL loving

who could resist -- and yes people I keep a LOT of mountain dew on hand...

Announcing

a new addition to the stanford household, Diesel Favre Stanford, born Sept 1, 2005
enjoy

finally got to sleep in

onyx and zoe finally got the hint and let me sleep until 9:30. WOW -- it's either that or the weather that has everyone in a fog. Hannah had off from school yesterday and we chilled most of the day because she went out with her grandparents. I took onyx for a ride to settle his nerves and then came home. Mike had an appointment to get another tatoo .. yeah he is one up on me now. That's ok -- I am not sure if I want another one right now. It's on his forearm again. It is funny when you walk in the tatoo place and the guys know you. Hannah is playing her Nintendo DS Dogs game. She now has two dogs on the game ... Bailey and Zoe and it is driving me crazy. Everytime she says his name I still think he is around.

life never seems to slow down

Here is a picture of me and my mom -- I am her baby -- her youngest. It is one of my favorites. Gotta love those bangs. It just keeps going. I keep on thinking I can maintain -- but I am always running to catch up. Hannah cracked Mike and I up last night, definatley her daddy's girl. She was taking a shower last night while Mike and I were catching up on TV. Mike walked in to find Hannah fast asleep in the bathtub with the shower going. Something my husband does all the time. We couldn't stop laughing which woke her up and asked if she could stay in and rolled over as to get comfy. Funny. Hannah has another day off tomorrow so my weekend begins after tonight. I am glad -- I am tired. Onyx went to work with dad yesterday because he kept shaking his head regardless of the fact that I cleaned it out. They ran some test and found out he has an infection. They then asked if they could test their eye pressure machine -- mike said yes only if they did not give him ANY bad news. Onyx's pressure is good meaning he is not blind like he perpatrates he just sees with cloudy vision -- just like me when my glasses are smudged. He had another fiesta this week -- 5 chocolate doughnuts and a candy bar. He will never learn. And to be honest at this point in his life, he can have whatever he wants. No -- it was not enough chocolate to be lethal but enough to cause stomach trauma. I am sure Zoe got in on the action and was very glad to have him jump on the counter because she will never be able to do that. Gotta love my dogs -- determined little buggers.
Oh and I love my sirius radio -- no more commercials and soooo much music. Happy Gina :)

yeah, i am a dork

yeah, but I love to get dressed up and do hair and make up ( as you can see from this pictures vs my blog picture). But on the other hand I love computers and gadgets. Not sure where I fit in the scheme of things, and not sure where I will end up in my career. I have been seriously thinking of some changes, more challenges. I just got to ponder a little more .

Hannah is done homework and eating her "fast food tuesday" -- now I am awaiting my cheesy pepperoni pizza -- YEAH.

I am glad it's a short week for me....

YEAHAAAAAAAAAAAA

I just purchased a sirius receiver for my car and they can install today -- YEAH>>>>>>>>>>>>

Saturday I purchased Inxs tickets -- they are coming to warner theater in february. I like the new lead singer -- nice voice and nice to look at :)

Mike and I are off today -- chilling. We shopped this morning and now are relaxing before we have to go back out to get it installed.

more later ... I am sure I will be playing in my car.

end of the day

Hannah went to the pumpkin patch with Mike and the Fosters -- it was a gorgeous day. Moms did not go -- needed some time by myself :)

Hannah just got some dinner and reading and now is getting ready for a shower. I can't get over how long that hair is getting. She loves the new shirt we picked up with the little yellow lab on it :)

Mike and I watched Amityville Horror last night -- now that was a decent horror flick. I think I have to go purchase.
Some decent football on today -- my chiefs beat the redskins and the bears kicked some viking ass -- they should have stayed on the boat.

changes

Since these last six weeks or so have drained the life out of me and I have not been taking care of my self -- I decided to spend a wee bit of time and money on the outside. I went and had a manicure and pedicure on friday and then yesterday went and had some dramatic changes done to my hair. Fun -- and it's only hair :) What is creeping into both Mike and I's mind again is some more tatoos -- we will see how far that will go. With Mike -- he will go :) Me like tatoos on him :)

Hannah went to the ren festival. I think she's done for the season. We have some things we would like to do while it is somewhat warm outside. She is really loving her new Nintendo DS -- she only gets to play on the weekend so she plays all day long.

Onyx and Zoe are good. I took old man out yesterday for a walk and a visit with friends -- he enjoyed. Zoe got to chill at home. She is such a priss -- right now she is enjoying a quick snooze. Quick because as soon as I move she will be right under my feet going with me.

friday night

welp is it now well over -- the week that is and I am very happy. Things accomplished this week: getting through this week. See, not high maintanence:) I had a great ride home tonight -- with all the windows down jamming to a new cd -- Jamie Cullum -- love it!!! My favorites off of this "Get Your Way" and "London Skies." Very talented young man. Check it out. Also another purchase this week, Alicia Keys "Unplugged" -- she has come a long way in performing live. Very Nice -- my two favorites - Unbreakable and Wild Horses with Adam Levine (Maroon 5). I love my music.

Hannah just came in and wanted to take pictures -- so we did ... and I am not putting the picture of me that she took. I am off to go snuggle in bed -- with my pooches.

friday morning

and Hannah is ready for school. Well, kinda. She is chillin in front of the tv and eating breakfast and Onyx is hovering for some leftovers. I can not stop SNEEZING -- I am getting over a nasty cold and it just won't quit. Tonight is Hannah's fundraiser for school -- Pasta night. Good Times for the Stanfords and Fosters (who can pass up all you can eat Three Brother's Baked Ziti, salad and bread for 4 bucks). I need to get my but in gear and get her to school. Happy Friday everyone!!!

Thing

Hannah just got out of the shower -- and she does not like brushing her hair. So she stands in front of the tv and perpatrates. School pictures came back -- not good. I think we are going to shoot for a re-take. I know -- not nice for mom to say, but in my defense -- I swear they waited till after recess to take these and man it looks like she has been through the ringer. Just got back from dinner with Jen C and Jen LR -- nice time -- I needed it.

tuesday rolls around again

and I am tired, but what is new right. Hannah is doing her homework and eating her fast food and anxiously waiting to open the box that arrived this evening.
It's FLOAM that dad ordered for her. Scary. It figures that stuff comes when he works late. So school started Hannah on third grade reading and so far so good. She began reading "Freckle Juice" by Judy Blume. How funny, I remember reading ... "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret"-as I am sure alot of you remember reading that one...bleck! I can't wait to see what other stuff they toss her way. Right now she really needs an attitude check -- she is becoming a wee bit too big for her britches. But hey -- she is an only child.

As for the dogs -- Onyx had a better night last nigt. We gave him some drugs to take the edge off (actually to knock him out) and get some sleep. He was pissed at me yesterday because I cleaned his ears and he did not like them. Zoe is Zoe -- I really can't say anymore about her ... prissy and bitchy.

Mike-- well that is a different story. It is amazing how time alone can hurt you just as much as it can help you. He had off yesterday and the time was not kind to him. Too many thoughts and too much down time to think about Bay. It's tough because usually its me who is bummed and crying about this and he is pepping me up -- so I am trying but fighting a losing battle. Things have been off again in the house since Friday and Bay's ashes came home. Since very raw with both of us. Just a little flick either way and the flood comes.

I have managed to make it through today and yesterday -- but wonder when I will completly break down. it can't be far off, it's getting harder and harder to maintain me. The impending doom with Onyx has been lingering on my mind so long, and then the stuff with Bailey and now Onyx is front and foremost. Live each day to the fullest and don't wish away each day. Strange -- that is all I have been doing for a while now -- still stings like a bitch. As I sit here -- the tears roll so easily down my eyes and it takes me a minute to realize I am crying again. I just want it to stop (notice I did not say wish).

PUMPKIN FUN

Hannah designed her own pumpkin this year -- it is something off of Pokemon. She even helped dad carve -- fun.

We took a drive today to check out the scenary up by westminster -- nice. And low and behold the packers won a game today -- a blowout!

done and done

this week that is... is has been an INCREDIBLY hard, tough, sad and painful week for us. But we managed to make it through this week.

One person said to me -- take it one day at a time -- and that is all I can do or ask for and actually deal with doing at this point. Hannah is doing ok -- she got a new gift this week for all her amazing efforts in school and to help ease the pain ---a Nintendo ds. Which she loves and plays Nintendo dogs. Cute game.

A lot of people sent some lovely cards -- and one thing stood out to me and I keep thinking about it over and over again, so I will share with you:

"Love knows not is own depth until the hour of separation" -- so true.

Happy Birthday Onyx

Yeah my boy is 12 today and all he wants to do is eat. His thing now is sticking his head in the refrigerator. Too Funny :)

Hannah is out with her grandparents -- they are eating dinner and I think shoppping for halloween decorations. We hope to decorate this weekend.

I had a pretty good day -- went to work and only cried twice. Not bad. Now that I am home, its a different story so many memories. I need to let this take it's natural course and stop fighting it. Having something to do helps. Mike and I are still fighting this nasty cold -- which has taken up residence in our chest now -- yuck. I need a vacation. Mike needs a vacation. Hell, we all need a vacation.

Onyx and Zoe

getting their nightly treats -- good doggies!!
PS -- if you look close enough to onyx's picture you can see what is left of his foot from the cancer.... I swear it looks like a shark bit him.

so I need to post

to let everyone know we are doing ok. I am not going to lie and say it has been easy. One day at a time. Hannah's tells me not to think about it and I will be ok-- not to forget mommie just so it won't hurt so much. Hannah is doing good ... she has his leash and collar hanging in her room and actually doing her best to cheer me up. Mike is also working on that with me. I am sure that this will pass and become a little more bearable. Onyx is doing ok -- I think he is a little lost without his brother and well Zoe is Zoe.

Mike and I are sick right now, I am sure from stress over the past two weeks and the emotional shit storm that has gone with it.

I think we are going to decorate the house this weekend for Halloween -- Hannah got her constume mail -- I can't wait to see it on her :)

goodbye

to my love- bailey. He had a very rough night and we took him back in today and realize the tumor was back and he was paralyzed again and in a great deal of pain. The only thing we could do was to end the pain and let him be at peace again. I can't tell you how much Mike and I are hurting right now, not over the decision, but over the pain of loosing our best friend. Till the very end -- Baily was waggin his tail -- always the pleaser. My heart aches so bad and I just want him back. But I know I can't. These two weeks have been so hard on him and us -- we did everything we could and knew he needed to rest.

I really wanna say thank you to everyone who has shown me and my family so much compassion and love during this time -- it really was an amazing feeling. Many of you know how much my Bailey meant to me -- and it showed.

I miss him but know he is in my heart forever-- and I realize that I am truley blessed for being allowed to care and love this amazing dog for almost 10 years. He is my sunshine..

Hannah and I always made sang songs that we put Bailey's Name in because he loved to hear us sing. One song in particular is "Can't Take My Eyes off of you..." in particular part when they sing the chorus -- instead of baby - -we would say Bailey. Like this
"I Love you bailey and if it's quite alright I need you Bailey, to hold you tight oh trust in me when I say... oh pretty Bailey..." you get the drift.

I am not sure if I will post for a few days -- I just thought it would be easier to let everyone know this way. Big hugs to my boy -- now you can rest and have no more pain, goodnight....