So finally a picture

from the wedding. Kate looks STUNNING. I had the best time :) Enjoy!!

Thank the lord

for the new Humira Pen. It is more expensive then the regular injection, but so worth it. It was relatively painless. Mike was worried that he did not do it right, but I felt the needle go in and a little pain, but nothing (AND I MEAN NOTHING) like they normally feel. I have to take an injection every two weeks, and I get a 3 months supply (which is 6 shots) for $4,059.22. Yes, and I only pay 50.00 for it because of insurance. See why I needed a new job. WOW, think about that for a minute-- that is like $676.00 per shot. It may seem really expensive, but it's the only thing that is working to stop the progression of my RA and it's doing it pretty well.

I start a mega 4 day dose of steroids to deal with pain in my knees and other issues and then I will go back down to my normal daily dose. I am also dealing with few kidney concerns, but hopefully the mega dose of steroids with help with that as well.

OK enough about me, but yes I am really grateful for health insurance ...

No Allergy Shots

So Hannah went through another round of allergy testing and did pretty good. Well by good I mean she doesn't need shots -- she still cried and I can't say I blame her. It's all over now and I am glad.

I am sitting outside high jacking somebody's Internet cause Verizon cut our cable while doing upgrades. NOT HAPPY.

I had my bone density test this morning and just got my normal "abnormal test" test results letter from the doctor. I see a pattern.

The wedding was fabulous. She can plan my anything next time. Man it was fantastic!!!!! I lasted for 9 hours which is not bad for me. I can't say I wanna be a bridesmaid anytime soon though.

I could use a good two days of sleeping... can that be an option?

Mike got his wish last week -- we are going to GREEN BAY to see the Packers play the Redskins. We are taking Hannah this year so she can live the packers experience at least one time with Dad.

Well, I think I am going to go inside, there is a bunch of white cotton balls things floating around in the air and my head hurts.

Always a bridesmaid?

Ha, I still think it is funny and that I am tooooo old to be a bridesmaid but yet I am this Saturday. I have to say the dresses are stunning and well so are the shoes. Yeah, I will have pictures.


I start my new job in a few weeks and I have to say I am rather EXCITED. Good to have the opportunity to learn something new and have a place to go. New beginnings... nice and much needed.

Ahh, can I finally rest and slow down a bit? Doubtful but does sound nice...

Goodbye

So I love music and I heard a song on the way home that describe exactly how I feel:

"It's not right, not ok, ....
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we be better off this way
It's better that we break...."


So with that, I am saying goodbye to WSO and moving on to HR. I am excited but sad at the same time. Wish me luck !!

Ask and you shall receive

So a few people wanted to see the boys. Now I know I have been a little focused on myself, but that is understandable.

But the guys are doing well. Ripley is getting bigger and pushing the bounds with Diesel. And that's ok with Diesel because once you get them outside, it is all Diesel. You can love them more here http://www.flickr.com/photos/loveoflabs/ -- enjoy!!

PS. My rant the other day is true, not matter how sad it seems to others. Thanks for listening.

Lessons learned

So thru the last two and half weeks I am beginning to realize that I let myself cross a line. One of my old bosses gave me a bit of advice that has always stayed in the back of my mind : You can be friendly, but not friends." I usually keep my guard up pretty good about that one, cause I mean we all get burned at work. But the last couple of years, I let go of that saying a bit and actually believed these guys were my friends. With that being said, I have realized that I should have never crossed that line and all this would not be as painful as it has been for me. And it truly has been painful. So I must move past that (and it is very hard) and realize that they are just people I work with and not my friends. Friends would not disrespect you, they would not undercut you, they would not ignore you, they would not make you feel like you are worthless and they would not tell me I have nothing to offer except and a nice rack and good looks. I deserve better then that and really believed I had proved that.

I am deeply disappointed, but should have known better. No advice and no apologies are needed, lesson learned.

God Bless my Mom

So I talked to mom for the first time since everything happened about two weeks ago, and she said what I needed to hear: "If you need anything, let me know." simple but worth a million bucks. Happy Mother's Day to all.

PS No making fun of the bangs

HAZE

So I have been in a haze. Focusing on my resume, cover letters and references. Man this is not the easiest time.

So let's see other things, Hannah went to her asthma specialist yesterday and we have agreed to begin another round of testing. She is developing some skin issues (minor), but it could be some changes in her allergies. She does not understand what that means yet, and I don't intend on going there with her until closer to her appointment.

Ripley is getting neutered today, his freaky dewclaw removed and a microchip implanted. He was a mess this morning cause he could not eat. Hopefully he is under now and should be out soon. My little baby!!

Diesel is morphing into a pain in the butt. He is determined to kill or in the least maim Zoe. He is also getting more and more aggressive. It gets bad when he is outside and he just acts like an ass. He has clamped down on my arm a couple of times and it's getting on my nerves. But right now he is on the couch with me, looking like a complete angel - sleeping. I do love him.

Zoe has moved to the endangered list. We are not having any luck resolving her very nasty aggressive issues with both dogs. I can't live with three dogs when they all are attacking each other or walking on egg shells.

I think that's it. More later

Hard to believe

that almost a year ago I found the house I am living in and a year later I have to interview for a job in my department. Reality just loves to jump right up and smack you in the face every now and again and thank you for that. I miss a lot of things, but today I really missed David. My first official day without him helping me get through the pain of the day -- man that sucks.

Welp hopefully in the next few weeks I will have a job - in or out of my current department. I have gone back to saying little prayers everyday.

I can't thank those around me enough, who have rallied and supported me(hugs, talks and just letting me know they are there) and assisted me getting everything ready for my interviews. And on the other hand, I am shocked at those who I have worked with for years who are acting like nothing has changed. wake up dudes, it has and life is moving on without ya. And this gal ain't your door mat anymore. Jacks!

the end

so the last two days have been rather trying at work. Yesterday after a long period of "circling the runway" - our group announced it's new structure. The very sad part is that 19 of us were "displaced." They have announced 24 new positions and hopefully we can all find a place in the new structure. I have run the range of emotions over the last 36 hours and not sure where I am now or where I will be tomorrow. I decided at some point today it was not doing me any good to be angry, so I went on to acceptance and decided I was going to push onward and upward. Let's hope it continues in that direction. I am tired and nervous. I think it is time to take my nightly meds, get my shot and hit the sack. I need a day to not think of all of this and get my head screwed back on straight. Wish me luck...

Ha.. good dog

So ripley sat on the remote today and ordered a porn movie -- this is what Mike told me. Sure ,right Mike :)