i think i have come to a rather sad realization today -- i no longer like working on computers or doing web work. i think i am toast and the satisfaction is gone. i have done this kind of work for a long time and realized last night after doing some web work and working on 3 computers at once ( 1 monitor caught on fire, one won't connect to the internet and the other network adapter is fried) that i don't enjoy doing it anymore. it made me miserable. wow, there - I said it. i know i am good at it but not sure if it can make me happy anymore.

i guess having a disease that limits many things in life makes you take stock and this chick is not happy with the route she has taken and needs to make a few changes that work for the lupus/ra and for me -- gina. i think most people forget about me. i have for a long time.

i had lunch with a friend the other day and he mentioned that people kept asking about me. ha-- that's funny. my first response (and the one i actually went with) is that i took care of those people for 7 years and i am tired -- my energy is tapped and i just am focusing on me, my health and my family right now. i am changing or shall i say - "EVOLVING" - learning, morphing, growing -- living. every day is a new challenge and thank god i get a chance to do it again -- cause there are days where i don't feel that lucky or if i will even get another chance.

well i am getting off this computer, not working on a website tonight (nor attempting to fix a computer) and looking forward to my next chance -- tomorrow. diesel is calling me to snuggle and i think i will go snuggle. :)