Showing posts with label scared. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scared. Show all posts

3.25.2009

scared?

so it's my first full day since my decision to leave my job because of my health. several peeps have called to see how i was doing. this is what i know - i don't regret what i did. i could no longer handle the stress and all the other "extras" that came along with the job. i hope i can find something that fits me and my personality. i am glad i am not crying and hurting inside. i am relieved. but in the same breath, i am scared. i am scared because i don't have anything lined up. i am afraid of my insurance situation. i have pondered how i can make my medicine stretch. i am worried my husband can't handle this on top of dealing with a wife with lupus and ra. i am terrified of letting my daughter down. i am amazed that i had enough courage to make a change and not just put up with it.

i am trying to get my sense of self back. i lost myself over these past couple of months - no backbone, no self worth and constantly taking so much shit. it was (is) like i have been stuck on pause. i would like to hit the play button now and catch up. i would like to stop second guessing me and what i can do.

any suggestions?