yes, of course i miss the money-- more so being able to do for my family and not have too many restrictions. i miss those morning talks at work. i miss those friends at work that made me laugh and calmed me when i was out of my mind. but things happen for a reason. things i can not change. this is my reality. this is my life now. and for the moment, i have a different career that i enjoy and would like to go farther up the ladder. learning, meeting, helping and taking pride. i have to push my self every day but that is ok with me. what my life is now is real. painful but purposeful. slow but necessary. different but refreshing.
now don't get me wrong, this has been the scariest journey i have ever taken. i cry a lot, i worry all the time - but that is part of life. i am learning to appreciate the little things and miss those who i took for granted. i am not happy that i have these problems, but i am glad i have a chance to make a difference, stop and smell the roses and try things i would not have ever done. i finally have some optimism about moving forward and finding all the things that make me happy. finally.. .wow-- that feels good.