2.14.2009

every day brings new challenges

so I had my brain mri and mra. all I can say is that I don't want to ever do that again. yesterday was tough, had no energy or motivation. I still know i am skirting with severe depression over how things have played out lately. I am trying to get that positive attitude that has carried me for so many years. I am also looking to the lupus community to help me get through and move forward.

so the visit JH was interesting. they believe I only have lupus and not RA and that the humira that i have been taking for so many years has caused some damage. they hope to get me on a regular dose of metho and the plaquenil. my only irritation is that my doctor (ra) has not called me back so I can start. that is irritating. I am thinking i am going to email the new doctor and ask if she can call it in and she can recommend a new doctor. I want to start moving forward and getting the best possible care so my mind and emotional well being does not splinter any more. that word has lived in my head for the past few weeks, SPLINTERED. that is how my mind and my body feels.

I am so glad I found a few blogs about there and a new friend at LFA to reach out to when I need to talk. i did get a new book about coping -- so hopefully that will help. financial issues weigh heavily on my mind and I hope we can find some resolutions soon.