I am a firm believer in that I am never given more then I can handle but this week has got to be the test of the century. It has been very difficult for me and Mike these last few days since Onyx passed on Saturday -- and going to work for both of use made it especially trying. Mike, well because he is surrounded by a constant reminder and Me because I am just an emotional person. I thought work would provide me with the distraction that I need to give my heart a break, but not so much. Yesterday I found myself crying on and off all day and this morning when I got in early, the flow started again. I was trying to focus on that fact that my birthday is coming up and it was a time of celebration, but it is a battle to get hyped.
Then, then ( are you ready for this) I get a call from the radiologist today that something is showing up on my film/test that I took on Monday and I needed to come back in sooner then later. What the hell is that... how are you NOT suppose to get freaked out, worried or UPSET. Shit, I am a not in a place in my life right now to deal with another few days of WORRY. So I calmly ask her to repeat it again slowly __ She says " Gina, something is showing up on your film/test, and we need to get you back in here to see what it is and what is going on. I want to see you at the hospital to do this and I can see you at the earliest on Friday. Please call your doctor and tell them to write you orders and have them faxed over to me." So I said -- no, I can come on monday ( I am scheduled off for my birthday) and I really did not want to ask for more time off. She said fine and we will see you Monday at 10:00. Yeah, so I laughed it off until about an hour ago and now I am just WORRIED, Scared and tettering on depressed.
So they say bad things come in threes -- so i am down two .. anybody feel like standing up and hitting me with the third whammy?
With that I would like to send a plea out " Please, go test somebody else for a little while, I think I have been tested a little too much and I need time to get back on my feet." Thanks...
