A whole year

already of blogging. I still can't believe it has been a year of me doing this. I am really glad I started doing this, it has helped me deal with so many things through out the year. This past year has bought me so many challenges and changes that should have drove me right off the deep end. The deaths of Bay and Onyx were just soo unexpected. I still look back in disbelief and then I feel that ache in my heart that let's me know " yes it is real." I just have to hold on to the wonderful memories I have.

Hannah has changed soo much over this past year. Hannah has always been Ms. Independant, but has really shown me that she can handle so many things on her own. She constantly amazes Mike and myself with her quick comebacks and her intelligance that you do forget that she is just 8 years old. She still enjoys school, reading, playing her DS, going to the beach with Aunt Denise, her Thursday's out with Grandma and Grandpa and still misses Bailey.

This year has brought me a new puppy - Diesel. I soo needed him and he came at the right time. His expressions make me smile on a daily basis. He keeps me busy with his moronic behavior and eases the ache that I have in my heart. As much as he drives Zoe crazy, she needs him, too. He is a nice compliment to the house of disorder. I would really like to get another once after we move and he settles down more.

I would say something about work, but why? Even it is a huge part of my life only because I spend more time here then anywhere else, I have learned this year, because of my illness, that it's not the end all or be all. I can only give so much.

And finally, my life this past year with RA and now Lupus. Welp, that has been a load this past year. I am still learning what I can and can't do. I am still accepting my diagnosis and what it means in the long run. I am getting used to all the medications and the side effects. I am still learning not to be mad at the tick 5 years ago that lead me to where I am today. I will always struggle with what is best for me. I will always be grateful to Mike and Hannah for always being there and understanding.. it helps more then they will ever know. I appreciate my friends for understanding that I don't like talking about it but forcing me to deal with it and letting me know that they are there to help me get through this journey.

And finally, the house. Well, I still haven't sold my T/H and only have 20+ days for my other house and then we move on. But I am ok with that, because if it was meant to be, it will happen.